"So Come Over, Just be Patient, and Don't Worry; and Don't Worry..."

 My obsessions are in full swing. I am eaten alive. I sit as still as possible, I inhale as deeply as my lungs will allow. I desperately attempt to gain some clarity, some peace.

 My demons are back; they are in full swing.

 Cycle one. Cycle two. Cycle three. Cycle four. Cycle five. Cycle six.
 Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
 Complexion. Weight. Symmetry of face. Teeth. Symmetry of nose. Check complexion. Check complexion. Touch face. Touch face. Weigh. Weigh again. Weigh again. Weigh again. Check face. Put on makeup. Take off clothes. Weigh. Put clothes back on. Weigh. Take clothes back off. Weigh. Get fully dressed. Check complexion with makeup. Worry about future. What if I'm not in God's will?What if I'm going to hell? What if I am not supposed to live in Nashville anymore? I'm not going back to school. God wants me to drop out of school. Focus Jade. Breathe Jade. Be still Jade. What should I do for a living? How will I make ends meet? What if I don't make it through school? I'm not mentally stable enough to make it through school. Stupid Jade. That's why he didn't love you Jade. You're fat Jade. Jade you're a failure Jade. You're not a flower Jade. He didn't want you Jade. No one wants you because you're such a fat failure Jade. No one loves you Jade. Just got die Jade. Maybe if your complexion was clear someone would love you Jade. Complexion. Complexion. Weight. Weight. Teeth. Teeth. Crooked teeth. Symmetry. Symmetry. Symmetry. Is that cancer? Is that cancer on my leg? That mole? Was that there? Is that cancer? Google cancer. That's cancer. That has to be cancer. What if I have a brain tumor? I might...I can't control my anger. I fall all the time. I have no memory. I bet that I have a tumor. What if mom's dying? Is mom dying? Jade we're all dying. We're dying and while we're dying you're worrying...and you're wasting time. You're running out of time Jade. You're running out of time to live. You're running out of time to find someone who will put up with your fears Jade. You're dying Jade. You're dying every day. Every single day...you're dying.