You Know What They Say About Birds

Accepting what you can and cannot expect out of someone is crucial before entering into a relationship or friendship with them. If a person is not trustworthy, has a spotty record, has loyalty issues, has a lying problems, has little character, makes the same poor choices over and over again, takes more than they give, has entitlement issues, makes promises they can't keep, can't keep their mouth shut, omits, belittles you, is only skin deep, is arrogant, is cruel, is prejudice, is judgmental, is critical, has a jealous heart, has little ambition, is domineering, is controlling, doesn't like Coldplay or when you wear glitter on your eyes and/or can't accept your pet rock collection, they absolutely cannot be expected to act beyond their capacity to make whatever changes you feel they need to (whether you are justified or not in your belief) to fit into your life. Furthermore it is almost selfish to expect them to do this. 

 Loving someone who has hurt every friend they have, isolates themselves, makes themselves entirely too available, [insert your own idea here], automatically makes you responsible for understanding when they "screw up", "take you by surprise", demolish your faith in them or break your heart. You can love a snake all you want, but at the end of the day...it's still going to be a snake and there's no guarantees it's going to love, like, or respect you back. 

 There is a quote from a movie that I love (though the name escapes me). Deborah Messing's father constantly tells her "Women have the love life they choose". People have the relationships they choose. You are the company you keep. Not only do people with no moral fiber damage you emotionally, more often than not you'll find your own moral fiber decaying because of them. This concept has really made me evaluate the people I choose to surround myself with. I don't want pretentious people in my life. I don't want girls that have jealousy issues in my life. I don't want guys that are arrogant in my life, I don't want people in my life that will not only compromise what I believe in, but "wear me down" to the point that I find myself "okay" with their behavior that is most likely hurting themselves and everyone around them. Walk away from self destructive people or destruct yourself. It's as simple as that. I know that from now on, my trust is going to be harder to obtain. I will base my beliefs of a person on what they deliver, not what they promise they'll deliver tomorrow or the next day or the next. And...above all things, I'm going to be the person that I'm looking for in someone else. Read that sentence as many times as you need to if it confuses you. I'm fed up with fair weather. I'd rather be alone than keep expecting things out of people that they do not and will never have the capacity to give.