I haven't written in days. Over the past week, I have successfully [almost] completed the musical trees, written my B. Hud research paper over Alexander Pope's The Rape of the Lock, read the book of Matthew and began Mark, stopped using Proactive which essentially healed my face (60 dollars down the drain), fought a parking ticket by myself and though I wasn't heard--I did it by myself which was a big deal for me, helped send my best friend off to Congo, met a beautiful new Muslim friend that I got to discuss both the Quran and the gospel with, missed my mother terribly, came to grips with really realizing "Okay, I'm never going to see him again...", watched the Preds smoke Detroit (okay they haven't YET, but we're mid-game...I'm just assuming we will), and laid in bed for a full night crying in terror that God might have given me the gift of celibacy (I really need to go talk to Hester, I think I have a misconception about what this is/means...it's left me in the ties).
 Everything about me is a high-strung, chaotic mess right now. All of that is very strange because I've been so immersed in the word of God for the last few days. Monday I went to "Dragon Park" and laid in the grass for the first 13 chapters of Matthew, by noon the next day I'd completed the book. For me, reading the New Testament is a big deal. Up until now, I've always just relied on sermons and the faith of others for knowledge about Christ. I've never known his nature...how can I share the gospel if I've never read the gospel? I haven't yet enough moxie to read the Bible cover to cover, but after I read it backwards, I am going to read it forwards. I've been dealing a lot with fears and goals and plans concerning the Middle East, part of me wants them to come true, part of me never wants it to come true.
 I desperately wish Thomas and I were on good terms, I talk to him now when I can but I can tell I make him incredibly uncomfortable. The truth is, I just need to talk to him. He was my best friend and I just need his brilliant input and insight. I miss talking to him. I'm scared that time is winding down and I'll never even have the opportunity to. I have no coping skills.
 Never take 18th Century Brit. Lit. Just don't.
 Letting Morgan go was difficult. I spend most weekends at her house and every day we [try] to meet up at Dose to talk about God. She helps me be brave in all the areas that I fail so terribly at being brave. I'm not ready to do the things I feel that I must do.
 I really miss my mom. I heard she got a new car, but I never hear from her. I'm in a really lonely place in my life right now. I eat non-stop and I've stopped working out. My health leaves much to be desired. At least my car is clean.
 Tomorrow is going to be a major killer. Two research papers to do and studying for a math test.

 Hopefully the Preds will win.
 Go Nash.