When Jim Victor Comes Around

My feet become large oceanic pools;

I catch my reflection in them

And watch the sides of my mouth,

My rosy cheeks,

My long eyelashes;

My entirety liquify.

The helplessness of it

Makes me feel small.

My speech drifts;

And words fumble

And mumble low-

All structure my knocking knees once knew is a

Jigsaw puzzle;

I rifle through the pieces one by one

Before he says hello;

But I can never seem to find the right words to respond with.

I usually speed off the other direction

When he is near me.

I absolutely cannot carry on a conversation with him.

I may be bold,

But I am not bold enough

For that.

I honor Jim

To the point that

I am absolutely terrified

Of him;

I don't want to destruct our friendship

With my stupidity;

My foolish mouth.

There are only a select

Few people in my life

That

Have ever had

This effect on me.

I absolutely do not know what causes it.

I stand in awe of a person

I don't have the courage to speak more than five words to.

Jim Victor

Is the equivalent of Jim Victor

When we speak

And I am the

Equivalent of

Jello.

Most days

I intentionally go the other direction

Because passing him

Is too much for me to handle.

It is easier when Devon is there...

But not much.

When I do get the courage in my body

To make small talk,

I have to shake it off afterwards;

Go for power walk or something.

I blush just thinking about it.

I wish I could find the remedy to this

Problem

As I'm sure I come off extremely strange or

Incredibly rude;

But

Him holding the door open for me

Results in

Me me losing my equilibrium somewhere

In the swell.

When he compliments me,

I am muted;

Static dances on my arms-

I am magenta

And neon oranges and greens;

And I hear a symphony

But he's just standing there waiting for me to make a sound.

And there is nothing but a quiet awkward

Series of rests

Where the words belong;

And I'm washing away as he's speaking to me-

Down the sidewalk

And out into the street;

And then he's gone...

Before I can say

Anything more

Than

"Hey".